Well, if past occasions are anything to go by a newbie's first post should have several qualities:
1) Be out of the blue about an issue no-one else has mentioned
2) Be offensive throughout, primarily to whatever artist or writer they have a bugbear about but then broadening that out to members of this board ("fascists") or Squaxx in general ("anal fanboy geeks")
3) Include a glaring error that easily leaves them open to piss-taking from aforementioned artist, writer, boarders et al
4) Either swear words or BE WRITTEN MOSTLY IN CAPS!
5) Contain massive image files without any explanation that annoy boarders who receive posts by e-mail.
When everyone else points out aforementioned mistake or has a go, the next post (if there is one) should contain one of the following:
1) Another round of swearing, calling us all *****, ******* and ******* **** ****** and saying we're all wrong and the merest fact that we're arguing means that we're wrong. Oh, and we're all gay.
2) A heartfelt admission and apology, along with an assertion that the original post was done "while drunk".
3) A post that makes no allusion whatsoever to the previous one, possibly hoping it will "go away".
And, once you've been through that, we may let you join in ...
;)
