caveat: I haven't read the script - but, I like to try and do story telling so that you don't need the script to help it along...
Well, Jim's covered the thing that was shouting out for a change, so I'll not mention it.
Like your art - nice and clean, easy to read and understand also like the inking.
Let me draw over your pic, and explain:
Panel 1: I shortened her torso - looked a little stretched to me. (I DIDN'T add her foot, which should be visible)
Panel 2: I blacked the walls, and moved stuff around, as it existed it struck me that, compositionally, a lot of attention was being focused on that table - not having read the script, that could be exactly what we're supposed to focus on - but I'm guessing not. So I blacked the walls (making the space feel tighter - like we're in a more confined area, I moved the girl to the centre (and moved the table out of the way, though, I probably should've deleted it, it's still fighting for attention. I shifted dredd so he was no longer cropped off panel (though I suspect you'd be better redrawing him to get him to fit better).
I rejigged those bottom panels - this is against the script - so DON'T DO IT - but, for the purposes of this, I wanted to show how much easier it is to read that layout in this direction rather than the other (also: went to super closeup AFTER a mid shot, not before, gives the thing more tension...)
That any use?