The pages have some really good strengths but also a few flaws which are quite distracting. Your storytelling seems quite strong, but it's hampered by poor angle choices in places. All your panels seem to by drawn from a straight on or slightly above angle. There are quite a few anatomy problems, and you've got some serious proportion issues, both in your figure work and perspective (page 2 panel 5 is a perfect example of this, the figures in the background seem to be on an entirely different plane to the foreground figures).
Your figures suffer from a stiffness too, they all look 'staged' kinda like the old photo strips that you used to get in girls magazines in the 80s (or in tabloid problem pages). Also, your faces don't have a great deal of variation. This may be a design decision, but if not, it would be nice to have them looking different.
Finally, your panel layouts are kind of awkward in places. Pages 2 and 3, panels 1 and 2, there's no need for panles 1 to not sit on the same gutter as panel 2, there's nothing happening in the extraneous part of panel two, so adding a little extra depth the panel 1 couldn't hurt leaving a little more breathing room for dialogue (this is particularly important in page 3 where there's very little dead space in panel 1). There's a similar thing with page 3 panels 3 and 4, as a layout it just looks a little muddled and is a little confusing. I'm not saying that you should be sticking to a grid pattern layout, but if you're going to have oddly shaped panels have a reason for it and don't over use it. Also, sometimes it's nice to not have a background in the panel, it's not necessary in every panel and it let's your figures breath a little. Of course, if you're going for a claustrophopbic feeling in your page, overwhelming the panel with background will do this very nicely
This sounds very harsh and I don't mean it to. If I had more time I'd go into more depth and give you a panel by panel breakdown but I've almost finished by lunch break now. If I get time in the next day or two, I'll try and give a more in depth crit.
