My instant reaction critique would be:
Your anatomy and figure drawing in general needs work. Try doing a little life-drawing, and hold your pages up to a mirror/flip them in Photoshop and you will quickly see the problems.
You haven't left enough space for word balloons and captions. This is very important and will be a thing that editors look for.
The panels are swamped with excessive cross-hatching, giving them a somewhat muddy look. Try to rein it in. Overloading panels with detail/shading etc seems to betray a lack of confidence in your drawing. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but I think you have a strong style which would benefit from being a lot bolder and less fussy on the detail.
There isn't much variation in line weights - beefing up some of the foreground elements would really help to add a bit of depth. Also, try to enhance your scanned artwork using Photoshop or a similar programmes - use 'Levels' to boost the contrast because the pages you have posted here look very faded and washed-out as they are.
Some of the perspectives and angled shots don't work.
The backgrounds aren't that convincing and need more work - see page 1, panel 6 and page 3, panel 6.
Certain panels (pg1, panel 6 for example) look very rushed in comparison to the rest.
You're doing a slightly strange thing with your panel layouts - the weird arrangement of page 1, panels 1-2 and page 3, panels 1-2 means you have these pointless slivers of panel - it's effectively dead space on the page. It's kind of a middle ground between doing an inset panel and a full panel - you should decide either way.
I would put more variation into the 'camera' angles you are using for each panel - there are lots and lots of mid range 'shots' but not much else. Think about ways that you can add a bit of interest to each page.
