QUICK AND DIRTY: The Forum Limerick Competition Needs YOU!

[Lady Festina]

For reasons that will become apparent over time, and as suggested by our last winner Alski, the next Forum Story Comp has been remodelled into:

QUICK AND DIRTY: The 2000AD Forum Limerick Competition

Oh yes. Five lines of your finest 2000AD related wit, please. Standard AABBA rhyming pattern. Stick to anapestic or amphibrachic metre if you can (amazing what you can find on Wikipedia).

And because it's quick and dirty, you've only got two weeks. Yep. Two weeks. Deadline for entries is Friday 27 January.


Now, what rhymes with Frank.....?

[M.I.K.]

  An amnesiac woke up in bed
to find that he wasn't quite dead.
  He roamed the Cursed Earth,
     met the sisters of Death,
    then recalled that he was,
            in fact, Dredd.

[Adrian Bamforth]

That's a cracking start, though the Earth/Death rhyme is the only hindrance - off the top of my head you could always make it "He roamed the Cursed Earth/To decipher his birth..."

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

There was a fab swashbuckler called Dante,
When faced with danger he upped the ante,
He had a cybernetic crest,
And liked fondling breasts,
And was man enough to wear panties.

[M.I.K.]

Can't I just change it to "sisters of Dearth"?

Another one...

Shakara, Shakara, Shakara,
Shakara, Shakara, Shakara.
      Shakara, Shakara,
      Shakara, Shakara,
Shakara, Shakara, Shakara!

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

Can't I just change it to "sisters of Dearth"?

Another one...

Shakara, Shakara, Shakara,
Shakara, Shakara, Shakara.
      Shakara, Shakara,
      Shakara, Shakara,
Shakara, Shakara, Shakara!

For some reason, I read that to the tune of the 60's Batman show.

[mogzilla]

there was a bad klegg called rick
who was acting a bit of a dick
dredd said" i'll fire six types of bullet"
right down your fat gullet
and what's left is going in the nick...

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

Sycophantic I know, but I like making limericks.

There's a comic called 2000ad,
It means a great deal to me,
It's got an internet forum,
That's never boring,
And is generally troll free.

[Greg M.]

There once was a Dark Judge called Fear,
Of habit decidedly queer,
His visage was grim,
So his chances were slim,
Unless he approached from the rear.

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

There's an outfit called Indigo Prime,
Who fight inter-dimensional crime,
If you follow what they do,
They'll come after you,
As the plot is too much for a normal mind.

Dirty ones follow when I've had a drink.

[Zarjazzer]

There was a young Strontium Dog
Who wore the most outrageous togs
He'd search and destroy
And use every ploy
He's even been dead as a log.

[IAMTHESYSTEM]

There was a bad Judge named RICO,
Who used the Law for Evil,
His clone Bro Judge Dredd,
Shot him clean dead,
So don’t break the Law- you creepo!

[Adrian Bamforth]

A mysterious figure called Cadman
Was a terribly terribly bad man
He was hung until dead
With a bag on his head
But lived on in the dream of a madman

[The Legendary Shark]

There was a blue soldier called Venus,
Of most unconventional genus,
She encountered a Nort,
And with no second thought,
Lazookad him right in the leg.

(Missed his penis completely.)

[NeilFord]

Of 21st century lawmen Dredd's best,
More deadly, by far, than the rest,
but on most weekend nights,
he wears Anderson's tights,
and if caught will say "Drokk! It's a jest!"