Here’s how it went down.
It was a barren time at Beast Towers. Tharg had seen fit to print any letters in many weeks. The Beast was getting hungry. We contacted Tharg and after some of his trademark bluster he broke down. “Please can I see the Beast in action?” he whined. He further expanded that the death and subsequent demonising of Jimmy Savile meant no one could ‘fix it’ for him to see the Beast and possibly learn its secrets.
Well, in this season of goodwill we were happy to take on the role of the silver haired fix it king. Only the fix it role, mind, the rest is in the hands of our legal people.
Anyway, Tharg fired up his space ship and came over to Beast Towers. He agreed to keep its location and secrets to himself, and in turn we agreed not to mention his patchy skin condition or double chin.
So sit back and enjoy Tharg’s Christmas miracle, a day when this little Betelgeusian finally believed in the goodness of man and the power of a MS Database with some letters detailed upon it.Tharg’s initial nervousness was immediately dissipated with this selection of branded LETTERSENTERTAINYOU plastic cups. ‘With these cups you spoil us Beast Ambassador‘, he probably thought.Tharg near went pale as he saw The Beast in action. Note its clever disguise of a 5 year old Dell laptop.After some deep thought Tharg picked what he deemed to be the best collection of 2000ad merchandice. Sorry John, the camera doesn't lie.He also declared this unauthorised covers website to be not of his taste.Now comfortable in the home of the Beast Tharg opened up. "Look at the shite I get sent and have to rewrite every week" he cried.After some wise counsel from the operators of the Beast, Tharg realised that Tom's letters could serve some purpose.Before leaving Tharg tried to tame the other Beast of Beast Towers - alas Seti's eye beams saw the end of that plan.Now scared, Tharg ran off soiling a pair of borrowed jeans as he did so. It was the best day ever, he said. It made 'Trifecta' look like a boil on the bum. And that's a direct quote.
Happy Christmas all!