You know you're an auld bugger when...

[O Lucky Stevie!]

... When you see a lone person on the street loudly extolling the virtues of labradoodles over cavachons into thin air as they stride purposefully along  your first reaction is to assume that they are a few stamps short of a free latte.

Stevie similarly wonders why everyone in the 21st Century suffers from such ferocious toothache.

[O Lucky Stevie!]

...

[hippynumber1]

My teeth, top and bottom, on the roght side of my jaw feel like they're disintegrating. I've been in agony for three days now, have been put on a course of antibiotics in case it's an abscess forming, and have had an old filling drilled-out and replaced. These measures are not helping...

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Well I'm 28 hippyno1 and a similar thing is happening to my mouth I tell thee. I've had a troublingly major ache in the top and bottom right-hand side for two days now...

IT'S AN ALIEN INVASION.

[The Legendary Shark]

Chew raw garlic and hold the pulp against the abscess for as long as you can stand it - which for me was just shy of a minute. Another good one is to squeeze a lemon and use the juice as a mouthwash.
.
These things worked for me a whole lot better than antibiotics - quicker, cheaper, natural and better for you. What's not to like (except the burning mouth and streaming eyes caused by chewing raw garlic, which wears off after a few minutes anyway)?

[Tjm86]

(except the burning mouth and streaming eyes caused by chewing raw garlic, which wears off after a few minutes anyway)?

So a bit similar to inhaling CS gas then !?!?

[The Legendary Shark]

Gets you ready for the riots!

[Hawkmumbler]

My knees are still clicking BTW. Only now I think it's in morse code.

[ZenArcade]

Hope you wern't kissing any of the local sharkesses after that treatment Sharky. Z

[The Legendary Shark]

Heck, Z - it's the only way I can keep 'em off me*.
.
*No it isn't, I've got scores of ways**.
.
**Apparently...

[auxlen]

Bit late to the whole Bum thing but....my dad had piles his whole life and one day they 'prolapsed' and he went to the GP. The GP phoned an ambulance immediately my dad  dropped his troursers and my poor dad had to endure endless rounds of students looking at his ringpeice because it was so unusual for the whole lot to prolapse at the same time.

Furthermore, when me and Mrs auxlen were students were rented this hovel in a particularly disgusting area as it was cheap. It really was obscene how dirty it was and we did our best to clean up the dump but we contracted scabies. My wife had lived in Hong Kong for the previous 10 or so years so she din't have a GP so went to the Royal Hospital A+E. The scabies was so bad the doctor called for a photographer and asked that she sign a disclaimer to have her hands put in a medical journal as a 'remarkable case.' she agreed and we often look at pictures of scabies to see if we recognize her hands.


I REALIZE I'M  THE COMMON FACTOR HERE...

[Hawkmumbler]

Your a walking disaster zone, auxlen!

[Dandontdare]

we often look at pictures of scabies to see if we recognize her hands.

That's so romantic 

[TordelBack]

The scabies was so bad the doctor called for a photographer and asked that she sign a disclaimer to have her hands put in a medical journal as a 'remarkable case.' she agreed and we often look at pictures of scabies to see if we recognize her hands.

For every 1,000 posts revealing the shocking fact that Dr Who is silly, mega-rich tossers don't really care about us as much as they claim to, new Star Wars may not be as good as that movie you saw when you were 7, or how the Paperclip assistant in '90s Word is a lot like Slaine, you get one like this. And it's all worth it.

[Devons Daddy]

I live in Asia (Singapore)

the  respectful (which is a majority to be fair) of under 30s refer to me as UNCLE!!!!!!
which is a way of addressing an older man. if you dont know him by name,

constant reminder I am 2 years shy of being fifty!!!