Empire Gives The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug FIVE Stars!

[Skullmo]

...the LotR books are terribly written, rambling, boring tomes that were one of the very rare cases of a book being improved on in the movie version.

I understand that taste is a personal thing

Sometimes people just have none of it.

Steady on - TB is allowed to be wrong.

[Richmond Clements]

Any movie that features a giant gorilla kicking a dinosaur in the face cannot possibly be described as bad.

Normally I'd agree. However, as it takes about seven hours of boring, trite, badly-written drivel to get to that point it lessened the impact for me. Kong takes on three dinosaurs and it still can't compare with the original's fight scene. A good hour could have been trimmed from it and it would have been an infinitely better movie.

I agree it could have been tighter. But my opinion may be coloured by a couple of friends of mine having worked on the SFX on it.

[Tiplodocus]

It's hard to take any review that has something positive to say about Jackson's remake of Kong seriously. The commercials for this alone make me want to hibernate.

They are right to pick out Kong versus the T-Rexes fight though - it is brilliant, inventive and builds and builds to a satisfying climax (including a lovely flappy jawed nod to the original animation).  Fantastic bit of film-making and I'm all for more like it.

The sauropod stampede though? Despite the fact I should have an obvious bias, it was plain rubbish.

[TordelBack]

Jackson's King Kong is a disappointing film because it doesn't quite hold the attention (too many sequences are far too long), but as a mini-series viewed over a few nights the Extended Edition is really very good.  Not a patch on the original obviously, but then what is?

[blackmocco]

It's hard to take any review that has something positive to say about Jackson's remake of Kong seriously. The commercials for this alone make me want to hibernate.

They are right to pick out Kong versus the T-Rexes fight though - it is brilliant, inventive and builds and builds to a satisfying climax (including a lovely flappy jawed nod to the original animation).  Fantastic bit of film-making and I'm all for more like it.

Here's where I'm going to disagree. Yes, Jackson worships the original movie but he worships it so much he's incapable of bringing anything new to it. Instead he builds on what's already been done and makes everything so big and bloated and convoluted that it loses its impact. The fight starts out great but he can't stop adding to it so we have three dinos and by the end they're all swinging in these stupid vines and it goes from scary and dynamic to "okay, I get it. Jesus H. This is stupid now." It's still without a doubt the high point of the movie but as the rest of the movie is so slowly paced and pretty dull, that's not much of an accomplishment.

I know Jackson's a masterful filmmaker in terms of bringing these worlds to life but I really wish he didn't have final say in any of his movies as any decent editor could make them far more enjoyable by hacking them down. It's true what they say - Less is more sometimes. Anyway, I know I'm in the minority here. Obviously his movies go make billions of dollars so what do I know...? Haha!

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Anyway, I know I'm in the minority here. Obviously his movies go make billions of dollars so what do I know...? Haha!

And Avatar is the highest grossing film in history - profits don't equal high opinions

I feel the same way about King Kong - it's just needless. As needless as the '76 remake. We all know where it's going - did it have to take three hours to get there?! Did it need to cost 207 million dollars to show us something we didn't need to see again in triple the original time it took to tell it? No. Another Indulgent bloated vanity movie from the faded kiwi visionary who once brightened our lives with wildly inventive splatterfests and whatever in the living balls Meet the Feebles was. I for one hope before he retires he does an actual original film - not based on anything. Then we'll see.

[blackmocco]

I actually prefer the '76 version as a remake. It's not a good movie by any stretch but I appreciate they looked at the original and decided they couldn't really compete. I know Jackson's is technically more accomplished via the FX work but as a movie telling a tale, the 1976 version is more successful to me. Also see: Jessica Lange's boobs. Naomi Watts and her shitty wig doesn't come close as the beauty, in my book.

Anyway, rant over. Obviously this is supposed to be about Hobbit stuff. Didn't mean to hijack it.

[JOE SOAP]

Also see: Jessica Lange's boobs.

Cue Richard Clemmens...

[Richmond Clements]

Also see: Jessica Lange's boobs.

Cue Richard Clemmens...

what the fuck's the point..?
I seem to be pissing in the wind in this fucking place.

[JOE SOAP]

We love you anyway.

[Mabs]

Who's Richard Clemmens?!! And why is Naomi Watts wearing a wig?!   

(Actually I know the answer to the first, but the latter, I have no clue as to why).

[radiator]

Yeah get real, five stars from Empire doesn't mean dick. They get all lathered up and regularly dish out generous scores to any old shite. Didn't they give the uniformly mediocre Man of Steel, Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness all four stars a piece?

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Yeah that's so they can get stars on DVD covers - when they review the DVDs themselves though... that's when they tend to get the "real" stars out.

Another good example:

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=135308

I actually stopped reading the magazine wholesale after properly buying it for a few years because of these really transparent blockbuster bothering tactics...

[TordelBack]

Here's hoping we'll all be eating our sceptical words in a few weeks' time!

[ThryllSeekyr]

Despite problems with how Peter Jackson may bring the story away from the original. I will be there on December the 26th[] in the city lining up to see this movie in the same HD/VMAX format as last year. I was even making plans to dress up as Gandalf the Grey but the people who make costumes had warned me I left it too late to ask them to make up a replica or his robes, cape, scarf, hat and hair/beard. I doubt I would have been able to afford them the way I have been spending this year. Though, I already have the sword and staff. Maybe next year and I do if wonder If I need permission from the cinema  and the local police before I go to town with a replica sword. Oh well, maybe next year.

As a early birthday present, my father brought me a copy of the new Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey dvd with deleted scenes included and anybody else hasn't seen this version. I will say it's very obvious where these scenes turn up.

[spoiler]Bilbo retelling how he had met Gandalf the Grey when he was a little boy plat attacking him with a mock sword while everybody watched his fireworks....

In Bilbos telling of the how the Dwarves first lived in Erebor and the river town and as Thranduil pays homage to to King Thrain he is given a glimpse into a box of jewels only to have the lid slam shut in his face. This sort of puts things in perspective.

Bilbo going to the Hobbiton markets to buy his dinner which you see him cooking and all earlier versions.....

Kili makes eye contact with the female elven bard at Rivendell and then says to Dwalin and the others that he doesn't fancy elf maids himself and then mistaking the male elven bard for a female he says "She's not bad" and Dwalin replies "That's no elf-maid and then they all laugh ....

Bofu stands on top of a table at Rivendell and sings the same song Frodo [spoiler]sang in the Prancing Pony in the [/b]Ralph Bakshi[/b] version of Lord of the Rings.....

The Goblin-King sings another song that has to be heard [spoiler]to believed.

When all the dwarves are brought before the Goblin-King he goes through their belongings and finds some candelabra taken fromRivendell  by Nori before tossing away after he says Nori merely a keep sake and then Bofur lies to the Goblin-King about their quest telling him they were merely on their way to visiting relatives in Dunland.....
[/spoiler]

I think that's all the deleted scenes. Please let me know If I've left any out.