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2000AD A Slice of Lifetime, The 10th 2000AD Forum Short Story Results Thread..

Started by locustsofdeath!, 13 July, 2010, 08:10:17 PM

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locustsofdeath!

Well, we had a properly morose topic and many appropriately morbid authors to take up the challenge. I must say, some of these final thoughts were...strange, not quite what I expected. But why should I expect anything less than the unexpected from you weirdos? Without further ado, your winners...

locustsofdeath!

In third place is a fine writer, a fellow who has written a string of very cool stories these past few months. Can it be much longer until first place is his? Here is -

The Enigmatic Dr X

Quote from: The Enigmatic Dr X on 10 June, 2010, 09:41:57 AM
JENNY'S COMMUTE

I first saw her on Monday morning. Just a momentary blur as the train hurtled past, but odd enough to jar. A woman in a suit standing in woodland, mouth smeared in lip-stick.

Tuesday, she was eating something chunky, scarlet and dripping. Watermelon, maybe.

Wednesday, she was holding a football in a long blonde net. It had red and white patches.

On Thursday, she sat down beside me. Somehow, I recognised her from the putrid stink of decay and rancid sweat without looking round.

"You saw me," she said, her voice a whisper of rotting meat. "But I saw you, too."

I turned and stared. Her puffy flesh was grey and sweat-slicked; it looked ripe and ready to burst at the slightest touch. Her mouth was worse, though: a rictus grin that somehow danced on her face, too big for her head.

She waited for me to speak.

"Who are you?" I eventually asked. "What do you want with me?"

"Who am I?" She leaned forward, madness leering from her eyes. "Arguably the wrong question, but I'll answer. I'm your permissible fear. Your secret titillation."

I didn't know what to say. In the silence, I noticed that her suit was spattered with mud and other stains.

After a while, she laughed again. "As for what I want, well I'm going to make you famous. Once I eat your wife and little boy."

No one else heard; her words were lost in the tinnitus discord of countless headphones.

My mouth hung open.

"You want to ask why. What can I tell you? You saw me. And, well, you know what they say. All work and no fun makes Jenny a dull girl."

At that moment, we pulled into the next station. She stood, nodded, then left the train. On the platform, she turned and smiled through the window.

No one else saw; their heads were wrapped inside free newspapers.

I dialled home immediately, stabbing the buttons. My wife should have answered. She didn't.

Outside, the suburban view melted into farm-land. We were at the spot where I'd seen her the previous mornings. I leapt from my seat and pulled the emergency stop. No one challenged me; only a boy noticed what I'd done.

The doors unlocked once the train was stationary. I climbed out and headed for the trees where she had stood.

There was so much there, I could only take in peripheral details: indignant crows exploding into the air; a mattress, red with blood and green with moss; enhanced breasts on a woman's torso; an arm with an angel tattoo, hanging in a tree. And in the centre, in the eye of this bloody storm, my son and my wife lay naked and cold.

*      *      *      *

Finally Friday.

At the back of the bus, Ellen settled in her seat and opened her paper. The headline gave a repulsive little thrill: some nutter had flipped and killed five people, including her family. Ate them, too. It didn't bear thinking about, but she dwelled on the details anyway. She wondered if she made them shag her first.

Not that she'd find out. The paper said the matter was being dealt with by a specialist investigation team. Cabbalistics, Inc. Bloody privatisation. Things were never the same since the credit crunch. Police sub-contractors never gave the juicy details.

She glanced up at a creepy-looking woman who'd just got on. Bad skin and a funny smile.

The woman stared back at Ellen. Then she put something red to her mouth, probably an apple, and took a bite.


locustsofdeath!

And in second place, a gal who always seems to find her way to the top of the pops - if she wasn't such an excellent writer, I'd guess that every single on of you has a crush on her -

Lady Festina

Quote from: Lady Festina on 14 June, 2010, 05:09:25 PM
I watched the damned weapon firing, the flare, the flash. Saw my death searing through the air. Looked away as my body burst open, didn't need to see that. Looked at him instead. His arm outstretched, his fucking gun still glowing. Had to win, didn't he? Had to win again.

He's coming towards me now, come to pick over the remains of my life.

He shoulda paid attention to what happened at the Academy. I won, I fucking won. I graduated top, not him. But he kept on following me, with his fucking certainty of what was right and what was wrong. And he got lucky. He didn't get shot, poisoned, broken down. He got it all his way, sailed on through, took my rightful place, everyone's fucking hero.

It shouldn't have been like that. It was never meant to be like that. I came first. Born first, graduated first, I'm the big fucking brother. It was my life that he took, step by step, lurking in my shadow then taking his moment when I got hurt. Walking right in, taking my job, my badge, my reason.

Twenty years of my life, that's what I gave. Twenty years he took from me. One brief moment of hope in twenty years gave me Vienna. Rest of the time, all I could do was think about this day. This moment. How, this time, it would be different.

I missed before. They said it was suicide by cop, some bullshit about not having the guts to finish it myself. They got it wrong. I didn't want to die back then. I wanted to kill. My brother, Judge Joe fucking Dredd, standing in front of me, gun in hand, just like today. Every moment of every day of my life had boiled up into that one opportunity to take the fucker's life. And I missed. Something in our shared fucking DNA maybe? Some kind of emotional block that meant I couldn't kill my baby brother? Nah, hold the front page – I just fucking missed. My luck.

This time would be different. This time, I wouldn't miss. Come back to his precious city, the streets he would never leave behind, his eyes fixed firmly on the gutter when there's a whole universe of stars out there. Come back to his city, finish the game, end it once and for all. Time to prove who's best. Time to show that Rico is stronger than Joe. That big brother counts for something in this world. That I am the better man, the better judge, the better shot, I AM BETTER THAN HIM...

I AM BETTER THAN  HIM....

Feels like I'm starting to float now feels like I'm starting to fly this must be the end There's a sort of strength around me like some kinda demon or angel from whichever side I've ended up taking me away lifting me up carrying me away into some dark fucking afterlife Feels like I am better than him Feels like I am


locustsofdeath!

And a quick break to make an honourable mention - krombasher 2 - who almost snuck in the top three...

But why delay the inevitable, other than to cause the poor sap a bit of suspense...

locustsofdeath!

The winner of the 10th 2000AD Short Story Contest is the one, the only Rogggg....no! It's...

Van Dom

Quote from: Van Dom on 16 June, 2010, 09:44:04 AM

Wasted Youth

BIP.

Heehee.

BIP.

Hahaha.

BIP.

Rock!

BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP.

That's my heartbeat, that is.

BIP BIP BIIIIIP.

Groovy, innit? I could sell that. I could get that to number one in the charts, and keep it there, forever!

BIP BIP BUUUUUUUUUUM

Oh crap. Bum note there, I felt that one. Looks like I'm on the way out alright. Bugger. But hey, I can't complain. Ninety years is a good innings, I've had a decent run. Might as well move on and see what comes next. I could do with a new haunting ground anyway.

BIP.

They're all there, I know. Kate, Nelly, Bobby. All sitting around my bed, watching me fade. Hah. I kept 'em waiting long enough! Bet they're all sat there planning what they're gonna do with their inheritance. Planning how to backstab one another to get the lion's share. Bless 'em. They're good kids. Best thing I ever did. Well, after marrying their mother of course, God rest her soul.

BIP.

Sweet sweet Susan. So beautiful. I still remember the day I met her, when I got roped in to fill in for some stud in a big budget porno flick. Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time but that movie both ruined and kickstarted my career. I should say, it killed the life I'd been leading up 'til then, but that was no bad thing, in fact, it was a great thing. I had to ditch my past, my career, my whole persona... But I had Susan. She quit the sex biz for me and we set up our own record label, 'Pornophonic Records'. With my business acumen and musical prowess and  her contacts in the porn industry, we were able to put together hit after filthy hit. Hard Cock, Cuntry and Western, Rhythm and Blue Movies... We covered every genre. It was awesome! It was huge! It made us billionaires. Then there were the porn musicals - 'Twats', 'Fanny of the Opera', 'We Will Fuck You' - and the tv show talent searches -'Britain's Got Tits', 'The Sex-Factor', 'I'm a Penis, Get Me Out Of Here!'... Great shows, they ran and ran, with me Sue and good ol' Eddie as the judges. Good times.

BIP.

I had a good life. Hard to believe what a tool I was when I was younger though. Dressing up like a twat and poncing around with a guitar. Hah! 'Zenith' indeed. Nadir, more like. Tell the truth, I can't even remember much about it, I was strung out on alcohol and E for practically the whole time. Ten years of my life and its all a haze. Probably for the best though. I can't have done anything that interesting. Thank God my 'super-powers' faded when I turned thirty. Never could be bothered with all that flying malarky. Nonsense.

BIP.

Oh, wait a second, I think I do remember something now...

BIP.

I think I had a really nice paperweight...

BEEEEEEEEP!!!

Oh fuck.

BIP.

I can feel it.

BIP.

I'm dying.

BIP.

Here we go then, into the light...

BIP.

Oh shit.

BIP.

I hope there aren't any fucking Lloiger in there...

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............


locustsofdeath!

Well done and well deserved Van Dom! I await your choice of topic for next month!

And thanks to all who participated and all who voted!

Roger Godpleton

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He's only trying to be what following how his dreams make you wanna be, man!

Hoagy

It was a healthy amount of votes given for Grobbendonk's American Beauty style, voice-over.

Thank you people for embracing my grasp of gibberish.:)

Well done all who pushed the boundaries of their tight schedules, to shoe-horn in a story.An impressive win by VanDom.
"bULLshit Mr Hand man!"
"Man, you come right out of a comic book. "
Previously Krombasher.

https://www.deviantart.com/fantasticabstract

Lady Festina

Well done to V, X and K. Good to see the unusual consonants triumphing :-)

And Locusts, crushes?? You know you're the only one for me, you edible short-horned grasshopper....


Van Dom

Wow! Groovy! Thanks to all who voted!
There's a lesson to be learned here...every other time I've entered these competitions I've spent days trying to come with some high-brow, complex idea, another couple of days writing that, and then many more days trying to get the thing down to the required word limit. This time around, not having much time on my hands, I threw something together in McDonalds over a latte and a sausage and egg mcmuffin.... I think I've stumbled upon the formula for success!!! It sure will make me a fat bastard though!  :o

I have an idea in my noggin for the next comp, will be emailing the locustsofdeath imminently!

Cheers again!
Van Dom! El Chivo! Bhuna! Prof T Bear! And More! All in Vanguard Edition Three, available now. Check the blog or FB page for details!

VANGUARD COMIC!

VANGUARD FACEBOOK PAGE!

Alski

Disappointed not to place, as I was rather proud of the Johnny Alpha one...

Anyway, congrats and buckets of bitterness to the winners, and can we have a more jolly subject next time please.
"Cool Stuff You Will Like"

Music, Comics, Books, Video Games, TV and Film reviews/articles.

http://cool-stuff-you-will-like.blogspot.co.uk/

Van Dom

Thanks emcee.
Jolly subject...well...that should be possible!
Locustsofdeath will be along shortly to explain!
Van Dom! El Chivo! Bhuna! Prof T Bear! And More! All in Vanguard Edition Three, available now. Check the blog or FB page for details!

VANGUARD COMIC!

VANGUARD FACEBOOK PAGE!

locustsofdeath!

Quote from: Lady Festina on 13 July, 2010, 09:11:31 PM

And Locusts, crushes?? You know you're the only one for me, you edible short-horned grasshopper....



:-[:P, or  :o...not sure...!

Richmond Clements


The Legendary Shark

Well done, all! As usual, an eclectic, amusing and entertaining competition all 'round. You creative Titans, you!
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