You should all vote for me and My Selfish Bastard party. At least you know I'm a crook. There's no need to worry about being disappointed by our sham democracy because with me disappointments guaranteed!
My policies-Grab power, ignore the electorate once the elections over, grovel to big business/the power elite ,help criminals not the public,have our foreign policy decided in Washington.
See how fit for office I am?
Well i've still more policies than the Tories!