Wot I Ate On My Holidays

[Buttonman]

$25! Tee Fury were only $16 with post to the UK. I'd let you have mine Colin but it would haunt your house with the howls of many dead tapas.

After several nights of grazing about bars we missed the service and general sitting down that you get in a nice restaurant. With this in mind we sought out a Chinese - what could go wrong here? From China, Spain and Paisley are almost equidistant so the food will be nice and familiar? - HUGE mistake! Here is the 'English' menu offered.



The waiter was as much use as a cock flavoured lollypop so I plumped for the 'Muffled Chicken'...



...and it was OK. The chicken bits were the size of small grapes but the sauce, which was like a chop suey, was nice enough and at least they did chips as well as multi-coloured, freezing cold prawn crackers.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Didn't you try to eat two plate fulls at the last Hi-Ex buffet, or was that Pete, I can't remember!

[Buttonman]

Didn't you try to eat two plate fulls at the last Hi-Ex buffet, or was that Pete, I can't remember!

Despite his massive cargo storage space it was Pete who made the Africans cry with this waste of food - well he did have 6 before this one and then made for the puddings.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

It's all coming back to me now 

[Buttonman]

It's all coming back to me now 

You are Celine Dion in so many ways!

[Dandontdare]

From China, Spain and Paisley are almost equidistant so the food will be nice and familiar? - HUGE mistake! Here is the 'English' menu offered.

That menu raises so many questions. Why is SALT in capitals, but not pepper? What are "Frog Haunches to the Iron"? And just what was the rice used for in Shanghai?

[Pete Wells]

Algae Salad!?! Wasn't that Otto Sump's Gunge?

And at last, this thread got a photo of a real man (admittedly being a bit of a wuss.)

[Proudhuff]

And at last, this thread got a photo of a real man (admittedly being a bit of a wuss.)

but at least your keeping your hands above the table!

[Buttonman]

'Bar Snacks' at our San Sebastian hotel were not what you'd expect - no pie and chips here. The braised beef with mash was delicious and well worth the 12 Euro price tag. The beef fell apart and there wasn't a bit of gristle or jockey whip marks in sight.

[Zarjazzer]

Glad to see none of those pesky "vegetables" near that delicious looking plate of nom.

[Link Prime]

Dear Stephen Watson (of Paisley),

How does a mid (to-late) 30 something individual manage to maintain some semblance of a normal physique when he quite obviously consumes more than Unicron on a regular basis?
On a sort-of related topic, how could such an individual retain melanin rich hair?

Yours, a concerned, greying and "cave-man dieting",
Rick (34)

[Pete Wells]

Ah Rick, each of those photos cleverly hide his frankly monsterous thighs and big fat arse.

[Buttonman]

Dear Stephen Watson (of Paisley),

How does a mid (to-late) 30 something individual manage to maintain some semblance of a normal physique when he quite obviously consumes more than Unicron on a regular basis?
On a sort-of related topic, how could such an individual retain melanin rich hair?

Yours, a concerned, greying and "cave-man dieting",
Rick (34)

Thank you kind reader. I am a youthful 41 - testament to a life well lived. No drugs or rock and roll for this fella. Did have some sex once - Jim fixed it for me!

I am Wells capable of being a fat bastard and got myself to a high of 17 stone 8lbs before some shocking family snaps sent me on a diet. I got down to 12st 10lb but after this binge fest I'm at around 13st 7lb. My cunning plan was to eat less and exercise more which obviously goes out of the window on holiday.

As for the hair I have plenty of silver but patiently pluck my temples. I think I've got it all and then I go in a lift or other bright space and I look like Steve Martin.

Ah Rick, each of those photos cleverly hide his frankly monsterous thighs and big fat arse.

Shut it you - the only man to make Two Tonne Tony Tubbs feel anorexic!

                   ****************************************

This Mexican place was OK but turned out to be more of a cafe than a restaurant with brisk service and plastic chairs. I had 'soft tacos' which looked pretty much like fajitas to me. The salsa has to be ordered as an extra and it didn't have the spicy kick that I demand. The guacamole was similarly uninspiring and no where near as good as the wife's. Overall a pass but only just.

[Proudhuff]

[I, Cosh]

If you think that's a rich head of hair you must be Duncan Goodhew.