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The Black Dog Thread

Started by Grugz, 02 January, 2016, 09:54:32 PM

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TordelBack


The Legendary Shark

Heh, I am Captain Dichotomy!
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Tjm86

I think I might have seen that one before.  Also, having just started with Citalopram for anxiety I've discovered that one of the things that they do is ..... wait for it ..... increase your anxiety!  And don't get me started on some of the other side effects.   :-*

The Legendary Shark

I felt better after going off all the drugs and starting with meditation and mindfulness instead. The second major beneficial factor in my ongoing recovery was the alteration of my mindset. I decided not to rely on the government (and I can hear the groans from here but hear me out) or its lackeys. The thing is, I'd spent all my life relying on the systems put in place by government to sort out my problems for me but they obviously weren't working on any but the most trivial and basic levels. I'd go to the state-sanctioned doctor and he'd give me the state-sanctioned diagnosis of "depression and anxiety" and immediately give me state-sanctioned drugs produced by state-sanctioned companies. The upshot of this was that the drugs robbed me of myself and made things worse, somehow hiding what was wrong with me behind a chemical fog rather than offering anything like a cure - masking the symptoms instead of curing the dis-ease. So I f*cked them off, all of them, and after a truly miserable and terrifying few months emerged stronger, clearer and more self-confident than I've ever been. I know that it's incredibly unpopular and quite possibly insulting to say, but in the simplest terms I did nothing more than "pull myself together." I stand up for myself, now, and it's amazing how many people hate or deride me for it - which you'd think would make things worse but, strangely, has completely the opposite effect. It makes me feel strong and confident to stand, as much as I can, without support. YMMV but it definitely worked for me.

Our modern society, it seems to me, relies way, way, way too much on chemical solutions when simple exercise and decent diet can do so much for all kinds of maladies and diseases. When it comes to surgeries, I think modern medicine verges on the miraculous because, sadly, surgical techniques have advanced so far because of warfare. We are almost wizards when it comes to putting damaged bodies back together. The drugs side, however, is driven by profit and therefore far less advanced. A psychiatrist once told me that my condition was due to a "chemical imbalance in the brain." When I asked him which chemicals were out of balance, and how he could tell without drawing and analysing a sample of cerebro-spinal fluid, he was flummoxed. His plan was to chuck artificial chemicals into my brain, the most complex organ I possess, at random until I felt better. That was the point when it became clear to me that most modern pharmaceuticals are little better than snake oil.

The above is not medical advice. The above is merely my personal experience and opinion.
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Tjm86

Thing is, I've been round the houses with mindfulness and meditation and so forth.  Last year has been a little too interesting despite constant efforts to 'pull meself together'.  Glad to hear that your way worked for you mind.  I'm just trying to figure out how to get past this.  Mind you the roots are about thirty years old so I think trying to sort it out in a matter of months might be a tad optimistic.  This is going to take time and effort.

The Legendary Shark

I hope you don't think I was telling you to pull yourself together - I really wasn't - it's just the only way I can simply explain how I approached the problem myself. 7 billion people = 7 billion solutions.

I'm always here, on the other end of a PM or eMail, if ever you need me.

Invitation open to all.

M.
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Tjm86

Cheers pal, no not at all.  I know better than that.  Biggest problem with text based communication, it misses out so much of human communication!!!!!

I'm with you 100%  What works for you / me may not work for someone else.  I've fought off the meds for a long time but am at the point where I need to explore them as an option.  Just need some help to clear out the old mine field (nearly typed mind field then interestingly enough).

I'm really glad your way worked for you.  Like wise too.

T

The Legendary Shark

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JayzusB.Christ

#218
I'm going downhill again. I hate it.  I was romantically involved with a woman for precisely 2 weeks (though we have had a flirtatious, affectionate kind of friendship for over twenty years) and it hasn't worked out, and I feel ridiculous for being hit so hard by it. She made me feel more alive than I had been in years and now it's over I see how empty my life has been for so long.  How would I react if it had been a long-term relationship? These are the reasons I normally don't get involved.  Relationships have always led to pain and misery for me.
So far this year my best friend has died and so has my baby niece, and only this tiny relationship breakup has led me to true depression.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

The Legendary Shark

So sorry to hear that, JBC.

Not wanting to sound all Marjorie Proops but, are you sure it's over? Two weeks is a mere explosion of time, nowhere near long enough to get to know someone - especially a female woman of the mysterious sex. Couldn't you at least remain friends? A relationship doesn't have to be all or nothing. I have a few female friends, a couple of them ex-lovers, and I find being with them most enjoyable - they're always trying to pair me off with "someone they know."

I know it hurts but don't let it grind you down, mate. You're not stupid or cruel, so far as I can tell, and that's worth a lot. You are a being of infinite worth and potential - all you have to do is believe it (chicks dig self-belief...) - and don't cut all ties because it didn't work out. Be friends, if you can, I think you'll find it's worth it.

Okay, pop-psych gobbledegook over. Be well, my friend, my heart is with you.
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Prodigal2

JB once again I wish I had magic words but I don't. All I can do is to show solidarity and wish you well as you wade through the trenches.

Please know that you are not alone and you are genuinely being thought of mate (if you are still going to Enniskillen I will buy you one there).




JayzusB.Christ

Thank you very much, guys. Sharky, I will remain friends with her; I have known her most of my adult life and I don't really want to throw that away right now.  We finshed on very good terms (if not on my terms) and I would hate to throw our friendship away.

Prodigal, thank you so much - I'm not sure I'll make it to Enniskillen now; money is a bit tight, but we'll see what happens.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

Steven Denton

Quote from: Tjm86 on 23 February, 2017, 01:45:34 PM
I think I might have seen that one before.  Also, having just started with Citalopram for anxiety I've discovered that one of the things that they do is ..... wait for it ..... increase your anxiety!  And don't get me started on some of the other side effects.   :-*

I was prescribed Citalopram and after it settled in (took about two weeks) it actually seemed to do me some good.

Steven Denton

Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 27 April, 2017, 11:09:44 AM
I'm going downhill again. I hate it.  I was romantically involved with a woman for precisely 2 weeks (though we have had a flirtatious, affectionate kind of friendship for over twenty years) and it hasn't worked out, and I feel ridiculous for being hit so hard by it. She made me feel more alive than I had been in years and now it's over I see how empty my life has been for so long.  How would I react if it had been a long-term relationship? These are the reasons I normally don't get involved.  Relationships have always led to pain and misery for me.
So far this year my best friend has died and so has my baby niece, and only this tiny relationship breakup has led me to true depression.

It doesn't sound like a tiny breakup to me.

Dating is emotionally unforgiving, I have been surprised by how hard the sudden rejection of women I don't even really know after a couple of dates has hit me, even if I'm not that interested! I spend weeks wondering what I did wrong, if there is something fundamentally unattractive about me as a person, if I'm too old for dating, if I'll ever find any one. It's an over reaction and it tends to subside relatively quickly.

You have had a terrible year and emotions are cumulative not compartmentalised. what you are feeling is likely the sum total of your grief and depression. Emotional peaks and troughs don't follow logical rules so you should never beat yourself up about being more upset over something than another thing.




Dark Jimbo

Quote from: Steven Denton on 27 April, 2017, 12:51:58 PM
You have had a terrible year and emotions are cumulative not compartmentalised. what you are feeling is likely the sum total of your grief and depression. Emotional peaks and troughs don't follow logical rules so you should never beat yourself up about being more upset over something than another thing.

Can't do better than what Steve said here!
@jamesfeistdraws