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40TH ANNIVERSARY WRITING COMP - RESULTS AND PRIZEWINNERS

Started by Bad City Blue, 29 March, 2017, 02:34:02 PM

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Bad City Blue

Hallo chaps

A great comp with some smashing entries. Lots of jolly talented people out there.

Hip hip hooray for them!

It was a close run thing, but in the end myself, Timothy and The Legendary Shark were runners up to the mighty

EAMONNN CLARKE

His Simping Detective story was totally spiffing!

So, of course, the lovely man gets a scrummy 2000AD graphic novel for his effort, supplied by the oh so generous cuddle monkeys at rebellion.

A bonus graphic novel also goes to a random voter, this time it's RARA AVIS. just PM me your details Rara and I'll sort it out.

Anyway, it's been super organizing the comp, so..... so..... so.....

ERROR! ERROR!

SYSTEM REBOOT!

SPYWARE EJECTED (Ptui!)

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Hello Gimps!

Frak me I wasn't feeling myself then! Well, I was feeling myself, and as I was doing it some bloody do gooder hijacked me brain!

'Spiffing' indeed.

Trust me, the ultimate painful death vengeance plan is underway.

SO.... well done Eamonn and Rara.

We will return for a new comp soon

I'm off to stamp on a rabbit.

BCB


Simping ain't easy.

The name's Jack Point. Jack as in "You know ...", and Point as in "I'm getting to it, already".
Funny story as it happens. I'm all about the funny me. And trouble. Trouble is my business.

She came into my office just as I was starting a big sleep, or a little personal Jack off-time as I call it. She looked like that trouble I was telling you about, trouble spelled S-E-X. She had the sort of curves that would make an old Bishop weep.

The job was easy, find a guy, and recover some weird bird sculpture he had stolen from her. 50,000 credits for delivery of her little flappy friend. That would keep my in carrots for a while and stop my landlord chasing me with a two by four every time he saw me.

I asked all the usual, assured her of total discretion, said of course I wouldn't ask any tricky questions about the statue. Sentimental value, gift from her little sister apparently. Keep your nose out was what she was telling me. She went like a long goodbye, and left me looking out of my high window. There was a bad smell, and it wasn't coming from my size 18 clown shoes, or the crappy carrots I smoke. A little bird was telling me something strange was going down.

I put my big red nose to the grindstone for three days and then set up the meet. She didn't want to come in to the office, wanted somewhere remote. I scouted out a disused warehouse and arranged to meet the lady in the Lake-side storage facility. I was early, she was late. She went straight to where I had left the little black statue on a packing case and immediately tore the label off its base.

"Looking for this?"I asked, holding up the data slug.

She opened her purse and pulled out a Lazinger pistol. I don't like it when people point guns at me, tends to take the fun out of things if you know what I mean.

"Come clean, Lady. Tell me about this chip and we can end this the easy way without anyone getting hurt."

She looked amused. "Hurt? Why, Mr Point, I believe I've got you covered."

"Funny. I was just thinking the same about you. See I've got a little insurance policy. Double indemnity you might say. All I have to do is whistle and it will be farewell, my lovely."

"Ever the joker eh, Point. But you're bluffing. If you have the drop on me why haven't you pulled the trigger yet?"

"Let me tell you the secret of great comedy ...."

I just put my lips together and blew.
The piano fell from the roof. WHUMPF! The lady vanishes.

"...it's timing."

Punch lines. They can be real killers.

People laughed when I said I was going to be a Simp, well they're not laughing now.
Writer of SENTINEL, the best little indie out there

The Legendary Shark

Congratulations, Eamonn, a thoroughly deserving winning entry. Well done to everyone else on producing some damn fine stories - I enjoyed them all. Thanks too, as always, to BCB for his selfless devotion to this, the best thread on the web!
[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]




NapalmKev

Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 29 March, 2017, 02:59:28 PM
Congratulations, Eamonn, a thoroughly deserving winning entry. Well done to everyone else on producing some damn fine stories - I enjoyed them all. Thanks too, as always, to BCB for his selfless devotion to this, the best thread on the web!

I concur!

Cheers
"Where once you fought to stop the trap from closing...Now you lay the bait!"

Timothy



Heath C Ackley

"Give a man a mask and he will give you the truth."