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Missing from Zenith Phase IV? Could this go in?

Started by robert_ellis, 08 February, 2015, 07:18:16 PM

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robert_ellis

What's your favourite Smiths song?
I like that one that goes "Oh, Glen... What's it called Death At One's Elbow) It's the worst song they ever recorded, isn't it? That's my favourite.
And your favourite Morrissey tune?
I didn't know he had any. I still like the words though. Maybe he should just quietly turn into Alan Bennett. What have you got in your pockets?
Nothing interesting. A wallet with credit cards and guest passes in it. A little black book with the phone numbers of all the girls you wish you knew, a set of keys, a comb and a bit of Fruit And Nut wrapped up in silver paper. D'you want it?
You've been telling everybody you went clubbing at Shoom in '88, but that's the '90's equivalent of saying you saw the Sex Pistols at the Vortex in '77. It's not true, is it?
I don't know what you're trying to prove here. Ask anyone who was there and they'll tell you exactly what I was doing. Obviously you weren't there or you'd have seen me. Maybe you were too busy waiting for your electric blanket to heat up.
Alright then. Name three acid house records. You can't, can you?
No, I can't. And if you'd been out of your face on E every night, you couldn't tell me the name of three acid house records either. I couldn't even have told you what my address was back then.
(More to follow...)

robert_ellis

Coronation Street or Eldorado?
Eldorado. No contest. It's got the lot sun, sea, sex, San Miguels, Kathy Pitkin. And I like that Lusty Dusty or whatever his name is. He's a swine, isn't he? The women love that. Watching Coronation Street's like buying stamps really it's just something you do. Eldorado takes real commitment. It'll never be a good as Albion Market though.
What is your drug of choice?
Paracetamol. Vodka. Harry Secombe's Highway.
What do you think of Ripley with no hair and no guns in Alien?
I wouldn't go and see it. What do they fight the alien with? Sarcasm? The whole shaved head thing's just a pathetic attempt to cash in of the fleeting popularity of Right Said Fred.
What did you get the name Zenith from? It sounds ambient-house prog rocky, like The Orb. or Gong,
I don't know what you're talking about. I've never heard of Gong. Weren't they in the Eurovision Song Contest in 1981? I got the name from Eddie, my agent. It means the peak, the top, you know, and that's what I am. Also, it's like a brand name and is probably a scathing indictment of the consumer society.

robert_ellis

What about the Goebbels diaries?
Is it strictly 0K to pay out money to reproduce Nazi propaganda?
People love that stuff. Stick a swastika on anything and you're onto a winner so you might as we take the money and run. I had a pretty good fight with a resurrected Nazi superhuman a couple of years ago and the video's still selling Zenith vs. Masterman, Virgin Vision, £9.99. I don't think the diaries are likely to inspire any big Nazi uprising anyway. You can just imagine them: May 5th... Pick up suit from dry cleaners. Must remind AH to invade Czechoslovakia. "The new Euro-Nazis can't read anyway. Maybe if it was all in pictures it'd be dangerous, but otherwise, I don't think anyone cares. In a year or two we'll find they were fake and then the BBC'll get a BAFTA award-winning drama out of it and it'll all be forgotten.

Have you had an AIDS test?
Why? Fancy a shag, do you? I don't need one. Being superhuman, I've got an immune system that's better than NATO for defending me. Nothing gets past my antibodies. ve never had a disease in my life.
Why aren't you playing Reading? Scared of being blown offstage by The Wonder Stuff and Public Enemy?
You must be joking. It'd take tactical thermo-nuclear weapons to blow me offstage. Those kind of gigs are for losers. If I do something these days it's got to be global. Nothing less will satisfy. I was backstage at Glastonbury, laughing at Bobby Gillespie's dancing and replacing his sulphate with powdered cat milk, but otherwise you won't catch me wasting my time at any of those things. I'd this idea to get the Black And White Minstrels together again as a rap act. You could call the outta and have the Minstrels on the fron in their Al Jolson makeup and candy. striped trousers, carrying Uzis and surrounded by mounds of crack an girls in bikinis. I'd buy it !

robert_ellis

What's the last record you bought?
Luton Airport' by Cats UK. Nah, l don't buy records, I get them free. Somebody gave me 'Metal Mickey' by Suede. That was OK. Are they the Next Big Thing or the Last Big Thing? I can't really keep track anymore.

Who's your favourite comics character?
I don't read comics. They rot your brain, that's what I heard. I used to like Commando comics: "He may wear specs but he's a cracking good shot." "Take That, Fritz!" All that stuff was great. My favourite character was probably Hookjaw, who was a shark who just went around eating everyone in sight. A positive role model for children and character you could look up to.


robert_ellis

...and this image, unique to the Select Interview!